Well. Liam and I are talking again. Well, more than talking. We kind of agreed we'd had a bit too much stress for the moment and need a few days to collect ourselves. I, in the meantime, called up Mrs. Liam's Mom, as Lucy put it, and asked her to have a sit-down. She wasn't...all that thrilled, but she agreed. We met at the park and I basically put it to her. I told her that while I respected her love for her son, him dating me was out of her control and that I loved him, too. I also told her that unless Liam wanted me to, I wasn't going anywhere. At least not at the moment. She said that her son had better things to do than date some American tramp. Ooooh. It took every bit of strength not to storm off. But I wanted this dealt with. So I told her that I felt that she hardly knew me and that that was an unfair assumption. I told her that I really care about Liam and I would never presume to interfere with his family life or his plans for his future. It proceeded...pretty much like that. She wasn't as...blatantly detesting as she has been, which was a nice change. She put it to me just as plainly as I had to her. We'll never be best friends, but she apologized for her behavior. She said she felt threatened by me and that she wasn't sure she was ready for such a proactive girl in Liam's life. One was enough. But she did say that she would not attack me like that (not her words...hers were a bit more flattering to her) again or punish Liam for me, even if she didn't encourage him.

Yesterday, Liam came over and asked to go for a walk. We walked around for a while without even speaking, but it wasn't akward at all or anything. It was kind of nice. Reconciling, almost. All he said was he was sorry, and all I said was me, too, but we didn't need anything more. Things were better. Like I predicted, they had changed, but they were better. It was...liberating. It felt so much more open. Before, I felt like I almost had to hide how much some things hurt me because I didn't want Liam to get upset, but...now, I feel like I can tell him exactly how I feel and he won't be upset. It was probably like that before, but it didn't feel like it. There's just...so much tension that's been released. I feel so much lighter. And loving him doesn't hurt. It didn't before, but it was like...loving him meant I had to love his mum, and I couldn't love someone who didn't love me. But I can. I love her because she loves Liam and she's a part of him. And anything she has against me...that's her issue to deal with.

Anyway, that's my update. I realize it's a bit cliche, but...love's a bit cliche, and love is never resented for being cliche. Some things just...have to be a certain way always because they just work.

Adieu,

Renee

P.S. I'm not supposed to run for another week, when I see the doctor. After that, I'll know more. Even though I feel just fine now.

Liam and I just had our first huge fight. I suppose it's not bad, four and a half months without a serious blow-up, just the normal petty little squabbles. But no. This one was a huge row. I broke down when we came back from Valentine's because his mum just about broke my heart. She really did. Those flowers Mum and I sent to her? She cut them up into confetti and left them on our doorstep. What kind of a crochety old bat does that? Who needs that badly to control her son? And Liam was mad at her. That's not what our row was about. Well, sort of. It was about his mum. He asked me to come home with him and talk to her [his mum]. I said no, I didn't think that was a wise move. She hates me enough. I think I'll not go where I'm not wanted. And then he said that if I were to follow that theory, I might as well not date him. He was really frustrated, and so was I. He's been dealing with garbage on both sides of the argument, and I've just had a bad few days. And I just lost it. I yelled at him, told him if that's how he felt, then maybe I was more trouble than I was worth. And he yelled back not to go there, and I said where was I allowed to go? His mum doesn't want me going with him or to his house, he won't let me express what I'm feeling and deal with it on my own terms. I feel like I'm in a bloody cage. And then he did the mature thing and threw it back at me, said maybe he wasn't worth all the trouble he'd caused. He grabbed his coat and said he'd be at his mates' if I wanted him to cause any more trouble.

I don't know what this means. Four months of love and a fight. Does that end things? It didn't feel like a break-up. But I don't think things will be quite the same now. Or maybe that's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that things won't be the same, and they were (aside from the whole Mum issue) wonderful. On the other hand, things could work out better. It could be that this will force the Mum issue to be dealt with. I just don't know if I want it dealt with. Not that I want to just...wage war with her forever, but what if the outcome is brutal? I'm afraid. I love Liam, I truly do. And I'd do anything for him. But...I'm scared.

Adieu,

Converse Runner Renee

So I got a major setback in my running today. I fell and twisted my knee. Now, to any normal, functioning person, this would be a small setback of only a few days, a week tops. For me, however, it's an indefinite setback. The knee surgery I had before coming to the U.K. was supposed to fix this problem. And it did...until today. I slipped, being the normal klutz that I am. But I twisted when I slipped and displaced my patella. My entire leg gave out, and I was shocked by the pain and by the fact that this isn't supposed to happen!!! That's what the surgery was for!!! And poor Edward, it was just the beginning of our run, and he so desperately wanted to run. I got up and hobbled to the phonebooth ahead and called home. Nobody was home, so I had to limp home. Fortunately, it was only a block and a half home, but that short distance felt like eternity on my aching knee. Mum got home a bit later and, seeing me propped on the couch with ice and pillows, panicked, of course. She went off about running and being clumsy and how I must be careful, what with my "delicate nature". Ugh. Parents can be revolting sometimes. I did get a bit more of my schoolwork done, though. Now I'm just hopped up on pain pills and waiting for dinner. Mum says I have to go back to a doctor, that something obviously needs fixing. And to be honest, I'm not too keen on running on a bum knee. I don't want to be crippled for life, now do I?

So for now, I'm at home for a few days and off of running until further notice. Good God, I'm going to go stir-crazy. Liam went absolutely bonkers when I told him, went on about fixing things and such. What is it with guys and this incessant need to fix things? Don't they know that some things are beyond fixing at the moment? Don't they know that it's not always their responsibility to fix? He was all for dropping his plans this evening to come and "make it right". What does he think he can do? It's not a cup I've broken that can be glued back together. I love him for trying, though.

Adieu,

Converse Not-So-Runner Renee

Well, we're packed for the country. We leave in the morning. So Liam and I went and got Mum the new Norah Jones cd and a box of cherry liqueur-filled chocolates. It's not much, but what with my cash flow sort of controlled by Mum and Liam not having any cash flow at the moment, we did the best we could. Mum and I sent a bouquet of flowers to Liam's mum with Liam's name on them. I feel so wretched about that whole situation. It's just...not even fair. Anyway, I found Liam's gift, but I'd rather not post what I got him until I give it to him. He's rather notorious for "accidentally" finding that sort of stuff out.

Paul is such an angel. He bought Mum her favorite perfume, Chanel No. 5 (I know, she's a bit cliche) and talked to the florist where we're staying and has a bouqet of red roses being delivered. He's such a romantic. Cliche as well, but I suppose that makes them even more of a perfect match. I really hope she holds on to him.

It does seem a bit weird, though, spending Valentine's with my mum and her beau and me and my beau. It's almost like a double-date. Or a...mother-daughter date. Eww.  Hmm...I hadn't really thought of that. Well...as long as she keeps her shagging unknown to me, I guess I can deal with it. Liam and I...well, that might not happen for us. Which I'm fine with. No harm ever came from not doing it. Right? Right.

You know what I just realized? Liam and I have been going out...technically (from first date to today) for exactly 4 months. October 10th was our first date. I mean, we've known each other for a bit longer than that. It's actually kind of cute. We came back for holidays when I was 6, and his parents were the next-door neighbors of my aunt. So on New Year's, my aunt had all her neighbors over. There must have been 15 of us kids running 'round the place, ages 2 to 9. Liam was 7, and he and his friend, Marcus, were the oldest two. Marcus was 9. And I had the hugest little puppy crush on Marcus, but of course Marcus wanted nothing to do with me. It was all about his soldiers and chasing everyone around with his remote-control car. He was kind of  a monster as a little kid. So Liam's mum made Liam play with me and the other "little kids" (she didn't approve of Marcus--maybe it's not me, maybe it's all of Liam's friends) rather than join Marcus in his terrorism. I think I was out before midnight. I think probably all the kids were. Liam is still friends with Marcus (Marcus is 21 now and in college--aparently he's outgrown his bully days, thankfully).

Wow. I need to shut up about Liam. It's not like he's my whole life. I mean, he's obviouly a very large part of my life, but I do have other people in my life. I suppose it's because of Valentine's being so close and all the gushy romance in the air. I am, afterall, a girl. A romantic girl. I get it from my mum. She's far worse than me. She's decorating the whole house for Valentines--not cheesy or anything. She's actually got some pretty good taste. It all looks rather classy, even if it is a bit...ridiculous. I mean, we're not even going to be home on Valentine's. Or the day after. Or the next day after. We don't even get home until next Saturday. So really, there's not going to be anyone home to enjoy all her...very lovely...very romantic decorations.

Oh, welll. I suppose this is adieu until we get back. Liam wants online for a bit, so...I suppose I'll go help Mum with dinner.

Adieu,

Converse Runner Renee

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day in advance.